Zayn Malik

(no subject)

Well, I've graduated (that happened on May 25) and tomorrow I'm gonna do class registration for community college.

Nothing else really eventful has happened recently, except one of my sisters (Caroline) got a kitten named Hazel Anne and today I hung out with Hailey at an ice cream place which was pretty awesome. :)
Zayn Malik

(no subject)

Hello. :)

So if you're reading this post, thank you for being one of the few people who still reads this journal.

My new grade resolution for senior year was to go on LiveJournal more and I did. I've been over at ohnotheydidnt as well as 2 One Direction communities on here posting comments like crazy.

Anyway, the point of this post is that I am still here. I'm just not posting as much anymore. I think I'm going to become one of those journals that uses LJ mostly for communities.

So yes, this account is still active. I'm still alive. I just use this for communities more now. :)

And hey, this could change. Maybe even tomorrow I'll start posting like crazy on here like I did 8th - 9th grade again, who knows? but this entry is just to let you know that yes, I am still here. I just am not using LJ for journal entries much anymore.

Thank you. <3
Tears, Sad, Glee

Slow enough, I'm giving up.....

I should’ve never watched The X Factor. It’s only proven more for me that I should just give up on my dreams.

The things they’ve said you need: the perfect confidence in yourself and your art, the perfect look, the perfect talent.

I’ve had confidence, but ever since 8th grade, it’s been slowly fading away. Now I realize I don’t have the kind of confidence a job like professional singing needs.

Tonight I performed at open mic during capernaum. I was so nervous and didn’t have a lot of confidence. That’s when I realized that it’s not getting better.

But the thing about confidence is that you can’t force yourself to have it. I’ve tried and I’ve tried to gain back confidence but I just… can’t do it. And that’s not a good thing for professional singing.

I won’t compare myself to others because I’ve learned not to anymore thanks to a few people, but I just know that I don’t have the perfect talent.

And then there’s my back-up plan of writing. I don’t wanna self-publish, and recently, this guest speaker came in to Creative Writing class. She’s in her 40s and just now finally getting something actually published. Also, there’s the fact that ever since sophomore year I’ve had terrible writer’s block.

Singing and writing have been the only 2 things I enjoyed doing. And in my mind, I can’t just do a job for even a second if something I don’t enjoy. But if I don’t have the confidence to do either of those things, then I’m helpless.

I guess it’s finally come down to the fact that I’m not gonna be able to do anything with my life. I’m helpless, I’m hopeless, there’s nothing I can do.
  • Current Music
    One Direction - Forever Young
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Zayn Malik

Say yeaaaahhh and let me kiss you

So sick of all these spam accounts on here (and not the good Spencer/Sam kind either).

I finally gave in and listened to "Kiss You". I'm trying not to listen to the rest of the album but it's so difficult with all the Directioners on my Tumblr dashboard crying over how great it is. They better not let me down when I finally have money to buy it.

Speaking of One Direction... They're gonna be performing on the X Factor US! Yay! :D So now Demi, Britney, and 1D are all gonna be in the same room. I think I might just die.

Also, I haven't really started on my NaNoWriMo novel yet. I've got the prologue, but that's it. Now that I've got most of my homework done though, I should be able to get it started.
Jennette McCurdy, Peace, Happy, Smile

We're 'bout to make some memories tonight.

Last night was Homecoming which was GREAT. Barely any seniors went but I was happy about the few that did. I don't really remember much of what happened other than the fact that Will's dance moves were amazing... and that we've gotten more dating rumors spread about us (oh goody).

Oh, and I requested One Direction music and the SECOND the beat dropped for What Makes You Beautiful EVERYBODY was screaming. Oh man. Caroline and I acted out the parody together (and we also smiled at the ground pretty violently. Hahha). As soon as it was time for the "girl who was paid to be here" line, I brought Caroline's friend Sheng towards us. It was great. Hahaha.

On Friday, Lex and I "accidentally" ended up in the Freshman section during the pep rally. She and her... girlfriend? (I don't know what to call them since she told me they were just friends but...) Ashley were doing some SERIOUS PDA. I mean, Ashley sat on top of Lex and Lex made some very suggestive comments to her, including saying she was going to unzip her pants/undo her shirt.

Nothing really happened today other than the fact that my 4th favorite Tumblr blog (dragdirection) did my request. Lex had been talking about "nun direction" so of course I had to request that to happen... and they actually made it!

Nun Direction

Hahaha. If you have a tumblr and you're not following dragdirection already, you should. ;)