Anna (a_wa) wrote,

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I just wanna see ME smile again

In honor of 1D's 4 year anniversary, I was binge watching old videos of them to celebrate. For a while, it was a really happy day, remembering all the cute little moments and reblogging old tumblr posts. But then, as often happens, I started getting sad.

I'm sad the Up All Night and Take Me Home eras are over. Like legitimately I'm crying right now. And it's not just about 1D, it's about what was going on in my life during that time period as well. Even though I wasn't a fan during UAN, it still came out during my junior year in high school (or somewhere around there) and that was the best time period in my life. I had all my best friends in the same place 5 days a week, didn't have to worry about much other than homework, and my best friend wasn't preoccupied with a job or a gf. Kind of like how 1D was during the UAN era: having all their best friends with them, didn't have to worry about much other than homework (PR, interviews, getting themselves out there), and were fun and happy almost all the time. Then my senior year (or rather the summer before senior year) was when I got into them and also when the TMH album was about to drop. My best friend has a job and a gf to worry about, but I still have her and my other best friends by my side 5 days a week, except I also pretty much missed the whole 2nd semester bc I got a (non-cancerous) tumor. The fun's still there for the most part, but there's that feeling that it's about to end. 1D have made it big, they still have their best friends by their side, although (like with my friend's job/gf) it's different (hello Larry friendship is almost broken) and the fun's still there but there's this feeling in the air that it's about to end.

And it does. Graduation (Best Song Ever is their graduation - the last truly fun video that didn't seem too forced). Am I really comparing my life to 1D? Yes I am because I personally see the similarities.

But anyway... it's been 1 year since I started college. People told me I'd get used to it. But I haven't. I hate the fact that my best friends (except for like 2) are all in a billion different directions and I may never even seen my best friend/crush again... (she's in California indefinitely.) I just hate it all.

I want 1D and my life to be fun again. I want my friends, I want my boys to have smiles on their faces and enjoy what they're doing, I want to go back. Please, take me back to the TMH era, where both 1D and my life are fun again. :(

Tags: one direction, sad, summer 2014
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