Girlfriends, Sharly, Carly/Shelby

Writing/icon Journal

This is officially the writing/icon Journal for a_wa:

All older stories and icons are found here:

It was originally supposed to be luvontheleftsidE but there was a name cut-off.

If you are my friends, I'll most likely automatically accept you. Unless you have 0, 1, 2, 3 entries, 0 userpics, etc.
Sam, Well...

Never thought I'd be making one of these again

Hi there. If anybody actually is there, or if I'm just talking to a void, I'm not sure. Doesn't really matter though!

Sooo if you have a Tumblr I'm sure you already know all about how on the 17th, no more adult content will be allowed on their website. This SHOULDN'T effect me because in all nine years of my time on that website I have NEVER reblogged boobies or other private parts. Not once.

But since their robot is a piece of garbage, it does effect me. This robot has been flagging things as "sensitive" that are not even CLOSE to being boobies or coochies or anything else. Which means I no doubt have nine years worth of things that have been flagged as "sensitive" when they, in fact, aren't.

Do you really think I have the energy or the patience to go through each of my 209,637 posts and find out which ones have been flagged and which ones haven't? HECK NO.

All this to say, if Tumblr takes away my blog on the 17th FOR SOMETHING I DIDN'T EVEN DO, I will probably come back here. A lot of people are going to PillowFort but that website is still in beta and I'm not sure I want to join it... Maybe eventually I will decide it's worth the money, we'll see, but uhhh yeah. If you see me back here again it's because Tumblr was dumb and deleted the blog of a 23 year old who is too scared to reblog cuss words, let alone stinkin' private parts.

Bible, Love Never Fails, Christianity, Religion

My faith

Hi guys. So throughout this blog I feel like I've had a lot of things I've gone through and a lot of questions both answered and unanswered - I still have a lot of unanswered questions but don't we all? - and I feel like one of the biggest questions that's been a constant basically is: what is my faith? What do I believe in?

Well, after going to Young Life camp again this year, I think I've found an answer. I think.

I have decided I'm going to give a relationship with God a chance. I have been praying a lot recently and I have started noticing God in a lot of things I do now.

Yes I'm still asexual and biromantic, yes I still believe in evolution, and no I don't believe that my biromanticism is a sin. Even before I accepted God into my life I had read a lot of interpretations of the bible by LGBT+ Christians and those are the interpretations I believe.

It's okay if you don't agree with me/my religion, it's okay if you don't agree with evolution being real. I don't mind either of those things. But I wanted to make this post on here because I feel like LJ is where I first started posting about figuring out my faith and I wanted things to like, come full circle if that makes sense.

I'm still not 100% sure what this entails, and I'm a little bit scared still because a lot of conservatives over the years have ruined my view of Christianity, BUT I am going to try this and I'm sure God will lead me to the correct answer for things. I have two LGBT+ Christian friends in my life and I'm thankful God led me to them to show me that God is not spelled GOP, like a bumper sticker I saw once said.

So yes, I believe in God. It's a little scary but it also makes me very happy and I'm so glad to be able to finally be able to say it and really mean it. :)
Zayn Malik

Zayn's birthday post!

Zayn - #imcoming

I originally posted this on liferuiners, but I wanted a copy on my blog as well, so here we go. :)

It's safe to say 2015 was full of a lot of ups and downs with Zayn (especially for OT5 Zayn fans like me) but I still love my boy so much and hope he has an amazing birthday. <3

So, in honor of his birthday, let's take a trip through 2015 in pictures of Zayn.

(Please no negative comments on this post. You can feel how you want about him but I'd appreciate if you kept your negative comments elsewhere. Thanks. :))

[You and me got a whole lotta history (January - March 24)]

One of my favorite selfies.

Zayn x animals is my favorite. :')

And now time for my favorite Zayn hair ever...

*sigh* Bring it back, Zayn!

OTRA ZAYN ;_; What I would give to have been able to go to one of the first OTRA shows (even though I appreciated my OTRA show a lot).


ZILOOO. ;_; OT3 for life.


Last OT5 photoshoot *pouts like Zayn in that picture*

I'm Mrs. OMG-That-Malik's-Shameless

[Stay till the A.M. (post March 25)]

Zayn's nose piercing revealed! I love his nose piercing to be honest.



[Hairs a million different colors]

I try to forget the green hair ever happened to be honest. I'm thankful he doesn't have it anymore.

Zayn and his dog :') another one of my fave selfies. <3

Question: what exactly was he getting cut here? There's nothing there...

Remember when Joe Jonas deleted his tweet about Zayn once Z started dating Gigi and then became friends with Liam instead? Good times.

But for real though, Paris Fashion Week was such a good time to be a Zayn fan.

Remember when the No Type video leaked? Hahaha. I loved it to be honest. It was so ridiculous/LQ and that's why I love it.

[Im Mrs. Extra-Extra-This-Just-In]

And Zayn is officially signed to RCA records! :) Yaaay!

So many amazing Zayn selfies this year. I love it.

Zayn's very first magazine cover! :) Even though there was no actual interview from him in the magazine, I still searched like EVERYWHERE to find it. It was almost impossible to find, but thankfully Amazon had my back a few weeks later. ;)

What a rebel. :P Hahaha. I love that one post on tumblr that was like "Zayn: have you taken the picture yet? Quick, someone's coming." So true. Hahaha.

Zayn and his mom on Halloween were the cutest.

He's so gentle looking here. I just want to touch his shirt and cuddle with him.

Zayn's boobs were one of my favorite moments of 2015 to be honest.

Before this we hadn't heard Zayn's voice in like forever, so I was so happy I kept playing these fan videos over and over again. :')

FADER MAGAZINE. I pre-ordered this one ahead of time so I wouldn't have to spend a million years tracking it down like with Interview Magazine. Hahaha. :P

And so begins Zigi. I don't really know anything about Gigi, but she makes Zayn happy, so I'm happy. <3

And so concludes 2015 for Zayn. I'm not going to lie, this wasn't anywhere near my favorite year for him or for 1D in general (and I know I'm not alone hahaha) but it got happier towards the end (for me at least). Because when I see how happy he (and the other boys) are at this point in time, how can I be anything but happy for all of them? Happy birthday Zayn! Thank you so much for still being amazing. <3

And now, time for the ships (my favorite part hehe). For each of these I'm going to start with moments from this year, and then do flashbacks to some of my favorite moments from previous years. :)

[I: What will you miss most about each of the boys? / Z: Louis smile (Zouis)]
Now I know what you're going to say ("Anna, that ship is dead") but honestly I don't want to hear it. Zouis will forever be alive in my heart.

OTRA Zouis. :')

Kisspering <3

How sweet, spending Valentine's Day together. ;)

Can't keep their hands to themselves. Beautiful.

Always touching Louis' hair. I love it.

What I would've given to be at that Japan show to be honest.

They looked so close to kissing in that one to be honest.

These two are so silly. Hahaha. I love them.

Did you know: ALL of these so far are from this year alone?

What Makes You Beautiful must be about Zouis to be honest. They sung it to each other like all the time.

OTRA Zouis was the cutest. I cry.

They were always together???

We honestly got so much Zouis during OTRA.

Harry is me to be honest.

This was the moment my soul came back to life. I'm sad that the person who hacked Zayn made him unlike it. >:(

And, before I move onto flashbacks, I want to link this in case you were wondering what the lj-spoiler title for this section is supposed to be a reference to. There was an article written in French of an interview Zayn did during Paris Fashion Week and one of the questions was: "If you had to choose a memory from each one of the guys, what would it be?" and Zayn answers "Louis' smile". :') It's here if you wanna read it: (xo)

So, flashbacks to some of my favorite Zouis moments pre-2015:
That time Zouis ran away on their own
Zouis love each other
Zouis cuddles
Zouis Bollywood Dancing
Zouis cutie gigglesZouis taking a selfie
Zouis - Love you too
Zouis - I'd date Louis
Zouis - You can be my idolZouis - You can be my idol2
Zouis - Be with me so happilyZouis - Be with me so happily2
Zouis - Zayn kissing Louis' hand
Tumblr - Zouis going for same job

And, of course, let's end this with the best Zouis moment of all time:
Zouis - can't live without you
:') I love these two so so much and am never going to give them up to be honest (insert rickroll here). <3

[Thanks bro 😀 x (Ziam)]
Oh Ziam. This ship will truly never die. They love each other so much and I think that's beautiful. :')

Ziam kissed2

Huggies and kisspering <3

If WMYB is about Zouis, then You & I is about Ziam. Seriously always singing it to each other.

Is it so wrong, that Ziam makes me strong?

It's like they can't go one second without staring at each other and/or following each other. I love it.

If there had to be a last OT5 photoshoot, I'm glad it was this one. Everyone looked so good and I liked it a lot.

I honestly can't tell if I'm repeating GIFs or not because there are SO MANY GIFS OF THEM STARING AT EACH OTHER. Goodness. They can't keep their eyes off each other, for real.

All microphones on Liam. Same.

And even after March 25, they still sing each other's praises/won't let the world forget how much they love each other. <3

Twitter - MY HEART
Twitter - MY HEART2
Zayn Fader interview - ZIAM

Ziam - Liam talking about Zayn at the BBMAs1Ziam - Liam talking about Zayn at the BBMAs1B
Ziam - Liam talking about Zayn at the BBMAs1CZiam - Liam talking about Zayn at the BBMAs1D
Ziam - Liam talking about Zayn at the BBMAs2
Ziam - Liam talking about Zayn at the BBMAs2B

Ziam - 'Zayn's got a great voice'Ziam - 'Zayn's got a great voice'2
Ziam - Liam about Zayn
Ziam - Liam about Zayn2
I'm probably still missing some things but oh well. Hahaha. You get the gist, they love each other a lot. <3

Flashbacks to some of my favorite pre-2015 Ziam moments:
Ziam fishing
Ziam - Rose
Ziam cuddles
Ziam - Liam's reaction when Zayn judges him
Ziam - Liam's reaction when Zayn judges him2
I seriously can't believe this is Liam's reaction to Zayn judging him. "You're judging me :) <3"

Ziam bum slap2
Ziam - Twitcam love
Ziam - Calvin Harris remixes2
Ziam - Zayn leaving1
Ziam - Zayn leaving2
Ziam - Zayn leaving3
Ziam - Zayn leaving4
Ziam whispering at the Brits2
Ziam - He's done my bum
Ziam - Talk Dirty

Ziam hug3
Ziam - going old schoolZiam - going old school2
Ziam - going old school3
Ziam cheek kiss

I hope this thread didn't slow down anyone's browser. It ended up way longer than I expected. Hahaha. ;_;

I couldn't find as many things for OTRA Zarry and Ziall. :/ With Zouis I remembered tumblr user zouisneedsmorelove had made an OTRA Zouis masterpost, and there's a literal blog called ziamotra, but I didn't have an idea where to look for OTRA Zarry/Ziall, SO. That's why these next two threads are lacking in comparison. But I hope you still enjoy them.

[All the love as always (Zarry)]

This is all I could find on tumblr, rip. Sorry. Haha... :(

Flashbacks to some of my favorite pre-2015 Zarry moments:
Zarry - Me
Zarry kiss2
Zarry kiss
Zarry commercial
1D Day - Zarry1D Day - Zarry2
1D Day - Zarry31D Day - Zarry4

Zarry wiggling
Zarry kisspering
Zarry singing to each other
Zarry chin massage
Best Song Ever - Zarry dancing

And of course we gotta conclude with a classic:
Zarry candy thongZarry candy thong2
Zarry candy thong3Zarry candy thong4
(Shoutout to "if Harreh wants the booty he'll have to wait")

[Eoghan: I have to ask about Zayn / Niall: Zayno (Ziall)]

The cutest cuties.

From tumblr: Louis asked Niall to describe the show in 18 words, Niall described it in only 16 words! Louis asked then if he should accept it! Zayn said yes and then this was their reaction.

When I saw Niall followed Zayn's new Instagram, I exploded to be honest.

Honorary shoutout to this "behind the scenes" video for a photoshoot from 2012 that the fandom just found this year:

And if you're wondering what my title for this cut is a reference to, it's from that interview Niall did with Eoghan. Eoghan asked about Zayn and Niall called him "Zayno" and I just thought that was adorable. <3 Link - (xoxo)

Flashbacks to some of my favorite pre-2015 Ziall moments:

Ziall interview2
Ziall cheek kiss
Ziall - Zayn cupping Niall's face
Ziall - Loved You First2
Ziall - Loved You First2B
Zayn singing Loved You First to Niall was one of the cutest things ever. :')

Ziall love each other

Let's conclude with them celebrating Niall's b-day in Vegas in 2014:
Ziall in Vegas 2014
Ziall in Vegas 2014B
Ziall in Vegas 2014C
Also, no picture for it, but insert "I just wanted to make you smile, is that okay?" "Yes Zayn, I love you." <3

Happy birthday Zayn! <3 I hope 2016 is a really good year for you. I love you with all my heart and I can't wait to see what you do next. :) <3
Satisfied, Niall Horan

My OT4 concert (August 18, 2015)

I just realized I never posted about my 1D OT4 concert on here, that happened on August 18, 2015. I need to fix that! Hahaha. So here are two posts I made about it under each cut, c+p'd from tumblr. The first one is... not so positive. But I feel like it's equally important to talk about it in addition to the rest of the concert, you know?

So, yeah. The first cut is a rant (warning for casual homophobia), so if you want to skip past that to the second cut where I talk positively about the rest of the concert, you can... do that. Hahaha. Also I included some pictures in the second one because I took so many fantastic pictures. :')

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Now onto the rest of the show!


(my Floor Seat wristband... isn't it so beautiful?)

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Wanna end this post with the best picture I took at the show, possibly the best picture I've ever taken at any show:

A great show for sure. :)
Dirty, Narry

Marriage equality is legal in all 50 states!!!!

So I haven't really gone on ONTD anymore since March, unless my friends link to a post that intrigues me. And now that Zayn has gotten his own tag on there, I doubt even more that I'll ever go back to being dedicated to that comm, because:

1. Zayn hate in 1D OT4 posts
2. OT4 hate in Zayn posts
3. Zayn is no longer in the "one direction" tag. Because he's no longer in the band. So it's just a constant sad reminder...
4. ONTD is just in general a terrible place to be honest...

However, I don't want to lose this LJ account. There are too many beautiful memories on it. So I'm gonna attempt to make posts on a regular basis (even if "regular basis" means like one post every 3 months).

But ANYWAY, on a much brighter subject...

MARRIAGE EQUALITY IS LEGAL IN ALL 50 STATES!!!! I mean it has been legal for like a week now, but STILL! It's so exciting! :D I'm so happy that now I can get married to whoever I want wherever I want in the US. <3

This is what I (and so many others) have been waiting for for so long. :') And yeah, the fight for mogai (marginalized orientation, gender alignment, intersex) rights is by no means over, but STILL. This is a HUGE step forward!!!

I also wrote 2 tiny 1D fics to celebrate the announcement. ^_^

Title: You're Weird, But That's Why I Love You

Fandom: One Direction

Rating: G

Pairing: Niall/Harry

Summary: Niall’s having a moment with Obama’s speech. Harry doesn’t get it, but finds it cute anyway.

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Title: My Everlasting Love

Fandom: One Direction

Rating: T (for mentions of alcohol)

Pairing: Zayn/Louis

Summary: Marriage equality is legal in all 50 states of the US. Louis wonders how the heck that has anything to do with them when it’s been legalized in the UK for way longer, but Zayn seems to think it very much does have something to do with them.

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Zayn Malik

Zayn poems

It's been approx. a month and a half since Zayn left One Direction and I'm still so sad about it. Everyone else has moved on to either the OT4 or solo-Zayn, but I'm still stuck here sad. I'm trying to remove myself from the fandom, but it's so hard??? because this is all I've known for almost 3 years. This is my life. As weird as that may sound to some people, it's the truth.

But anyway, rather than trying to put it into words in this way, I'll instead show you all the poems I've written since then, because they explain how I feel better.

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Kiss me where I lay down

So I haven't really posted any of my fanfics on here in a long time and I know real person fanfiction is an uncomfortable thing for some people but I just feel like I have to post this fic here because it's definitely one of my best writings to date.

Title: Kiss me where I lay down

Fandom: One Direction

Rating: T

Pairing: Zayn/Louis

Summary: Zayn is a patient at the coma hospital Louis works at. He’s been in a coma for a few years now, and there’s controversy over pulling the plug. Louis doesn’t want that to happen, but after a while, what choice do you have?

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Zayn Malik

One Direction concert! (8/11/14)

Soooo, on the 11th I got to experience one of the best days of my life. I GOT TO SEE ONE DIRECTION. This year I've experienced both of my dream concerts. First meeting Fifth Harmony + watching them and Demi Lovato live, then watching One Direction live. The only way it could've been better would've been if I had met 1D (but they took away the M&Gs and I was broke anyway so whatever).

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